Lancer Kind, Science Fiction author

Stimulants in print

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In defense of toasters

19 March, 2009 (22:32) | Uncategorized | By: Lancer Kind

Two BSG "toasters" in a staring contest

Lancer's splendidly, hard-working toaster

This affront was created by some SciFi Channel mad scientist

My plea to the Sci Fi channel

My plea to the Sci Fi channel

Does anyone know why Cylons must be referred to as toasters? Wouldn’t it be more humiliating to a sentient robot to be referred to as a curling iron? Or an electric toothbrush? I’m just saying… I have a toaster and I think it’s a pretty neat device!

Just look at this splendid T-Fal feller right over there.  Sure its shiny steel parts are reminiscent of the materials used to construct a cylon. but look at all the levers, buttons, and it even has a dial. I’ve never seen a Cylon with that kind of man-to-machine interface. And to top it off, it makes REALLY GREAT TOAST!

It offends my sense of fairness to see the crew of Galactica calling people toasters like that’s supposed to be a bad thing! And it’s getting worse. I found this Galactica toaster which was engineered into a mockery of proper toaster conduct.

This is torture and of the most base kind!

So join me in telling the Sci Fi channel (feedback@scifi.com) that we will not stand for this abuse! That this continual demonization of toasters must stop now!

Stand up against those frakkers that are a part of the science fiction media spin machine, and tell them to “stop frakken with the toasters.”

I think that if we band together and act swiftly, we can end the rain of abuse caused by this Battlestar Galactica in the next two weeks!